My balance is so off from my foot being fucked up that last night I woke up to blow a candle out I had left burning on my dresser and in picked it up, dropped it, almost fell over, and now there is wax in one of my drawers of clothing, all over my rug, and all over my flatscreen TV. And the only fucking reason I lit it in the first place was because our power went out from the big storm.

I’m over lifeguarding. The cons are starting to well outweigh the pros with working for the state. I don’t get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. My foot hurts so bad at times that I can’t even train. Not training makes me depressed and I start to make really bad decisions as time inches forward. Like eating shitty foods, reaction time is slower, and my mind feels like it is deteriorating.

Cleaning up after this candle is going to be a couple hour job.
Cleaning up my life after this summer is going to take the rest of the year at least.

Journal